What had he expected - for him and I to... ? My god, how can he think this way? What could I have done while my son was growing up to cause him to think that he and I could ever... ? Even if he was not my son, I could not, ever, act like this."And what did you expect Rob?" My voice sounded incredibly cold even to my ears and I could feel the rising anger building within me.He shrugged and I could not help but see in that movement the adolescent that he had been not so long ago.Rob slowly brought his cloth napkin to wipe his mouth before answering, "Perhaps 'expected' is the wrong word mom, 'hope' is more accurate."A thought hit me like a bolt, and I felt suddenly guilty that it had not come earlier, "What of your father Rob?"He cleared his throat before replying, "I know that you have not been happy... ?"I leaned over the table and could not hold my fury from boiling to the surface, "What goes on in my marriage is none of your business Rob!"He looked even more uncertain in the face. I tripped over my feet. Thomas and his friends' laughter ringing in my ears chased me as I fled. I bounced into Doris. She caught me with unsteady arms and looked at me with glazed eyes. “Where’s Tom?” “He’s….” Unable to organize my thoughts, shattered emotions running down my face in drips that fell in spatters on the floor, I flapped my hand in the direction I had come. She pushed past me, never looking back. Blinded by the streams down my face, I stumbled, looking for the door. Lost, and wandering. I ran into a chest that didn't give, or move when I ran into it. Hard muscles under my fingers, the smell of grass and sweat, callous hands holding my arms, and a honey sweet voice. “Stella? Stella are you okay?” It was you, dear sweet man. How you were there, I didn't know, but it was real. I held you tight, buried my face in your shirt, crying, sniffling, beyond words. Clinging, fists tight in your shirt, keeping your dream to me. “Josh… oh, Josh. I miss you so much.” “I’m here,.
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